Every Girl Has a Sign
Hey there Waking Life readers. Hope y'all are good & have been keeping safe.
So a friend of mine came up to me today & said "Joe.. You're one of the realest people I know. So when is Waking Life going to write and post about something REAL other than sex, jewellery etc" - Clearly he didn't read my Article labelled "Sense Of Entitlement", but I do feel him. Humanity is a topic that seems to be fading so...
In light of what’s
been happening around the world to our fellow women, I’ve decided to take the
time to just throw in my own personal perspective on the matter, concerning Women Abuse & Domestic Violence.
Growing up, my father always used to say to me; “Son...
If I ever see you so much as lift your hand to strike a woman, be it your
sister or any woman, I will give you the beating of your life!” – He’d say this
to me, a lot after my sister & I would get into our little screaming
matches & I’d throw things at her. One day, on a cold winters day in South
Africa, we were arguing over the remote & what to watch. I wanted to watch
Looney Toons, but my sister being the oldest wanted to watch something a little
more girly. And thus started the most epic tug of war our family had ever seen.
In the middle of the tug of war I thought to myself “YOU’RE A MAN! JUST PUSH
HER ALREADY!” So I did. My sister was obviously a lot lighter than me, so when
I pushed her (Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit but that’s how 10yr old me saw it),
she went flying through the air & hit her head on the coffee table.
I started laughing out loud, as my sister was
crying. She eventually got up & said; “when dad gets home, I’m going to
tell him what you did” & me being a stupid 10yr old kid, said “Go ahead!
I’m not scared of him, he’s old”. Fast forward to when my dad gets home &
my sister decides to tell him her version of the truth, my dad calls me into
his room, opens his closet & says “Choose a belt”. Never before, have I
been so scared in my life. My dad whipped me so hard that I wasn’t able to sit
for at least 3hrs. After I was done crying & sobbing like a fool, my father
came into my room & he said something I’ll never forget. He said;”Son...
Although your sister is the oldest in the family, you are the protector of this
family. You’re my right hand. When I’m not around, you’re supposed to protect
the women of our family from harm, not be the cause of it. That is the mark of
a righteous man.”
I never told my father this but, I am grateful that
he instilled in me the desire to protect the women in my life (sisters,
cousins, mom, girlfriends & even just girls who are my friends) from any
physical abuse.
You’re probably wondering, what am I getting at?
Well... From the dawn of time, we men were created to “love, serve &
protect our women (wives) & to not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19),
but as time progressed, and women became more our equals than our subjects, men
(Not all men of course) have found it upon their hearts that it’s alright to
strike, degrade with words, rape, torture & kill women.
Doing research for this article was a bit
overwhelming. The stats are alarming & the stories I read (Which I will not
share) are worse than any sane human being could imagine. In the United States
of America, (Reading from huffingtonpost.com) the numbers are startling; “1 in 4 women surveyed by the government say they were violently attacked by
their husbands or boyfriends”
Experts in the field of domestic violence, say that
these statistics are not surprising & that the numbers are due to increase.
Now I don’t know about you, but this has got to stop! When did we, as men, go
from being the ones our women looked up to, to take full control of the household?
The kind of men Queen B (That’s Beyonce) sings about in that song “Dance For
You”.
The kind of men that FATHERS of beautiful & well respected daughters,
would be more than happy to give their daughters hand in marriage. To the ones,
which our women fear, could possibly end their lives???
“One expert called the new report's estimate on rape and attempted rape
"extremely high" – with 1 in 5 women saying they were victims. About
half of those cases involved intimate partners”
_ As many as 29 million women say they have suffered severe and frightening physical violence from a boyfriend, spouse or other intimate partner. That includes being choked, beaten, stabbed, shot, punched, slammed against something or hurt by hair-pulling.
_ That number grows to 36 million if slapping, pushing and shoving are counted.
_ Almost half of the women who reported rape or attempted rape said it happened when they were 17 or younger.
_As many as 1 in 3 women have experienced rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetimes, compared to about 1 in 10 men.
These horrendous acts of violence are happening to
someone’s mother, daughter, sister, cousin, friend & I think it’s time that
the real men, the good men, take control of the situation, band together &
protect our women.
In South Africa (As well as the
rest of the world), studies have shown that violence against women has severe
physical and mental health consequences for the women involved. Relationships
with families, relatives, friends and co-workers are affected. With domestic
violence specifically, the violence often spills over and injures people caught
in the cross-fire. Families, friends and co-workers may be hurt or killed in
violent attacks by abusive partners. Children who witness violence in the home
are affected: Many have been found to experience Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder, similar to that observed in children who witness wars or detainees experiencing
police torture and incarceration.
This disorder includes
nightmares, bedwetting, depression, social withdrawal, aggression, mood swings,
concentration problems and poor school performance. It teaches children that
violence against women is acceptable and male children are at risk of
perpetuating this behaviour when they grow up.
One of my favourite rappers, Tupac Shakur, once
wrote: “since we all came from a woman, got our
name from a woman and our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from our
women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it's time to kill
for our women, time to heal our women, be real to our women. And if we don't
we'll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies, that make the babies. And
since a man can't make one, he has no right to tell a woman when and where to
create one. So will the real men get up! I know you're fed up ladies, but keep
your head up”
So this is me, calling out... No...
Shouting out to all the good men out there to band together, MAKE A NOISE!!!
Eradicate the problem by exposing the cowards who think it’s ok to raise their
hands to a defenceless human being.
Every Girl Has A Sign! That Sign Is...
That's all for now. Catch me later this week, when I bring you the exciting & very relateable story of The Macksters
Until Then, Take Care Of Yourselves, And Each Other
PEACE!!!
