The Birds & The Bees

SEX! – Not Just Another Gender

 “Everybody’s doing it & I can’t get enough of it!” – The words of some girl (Can’t mention her name for legal reasons) who, after I asked her about it, she was quick to answer with such enthusiasm!

How’s it going Waking Life readers, hope y’all are having a great week thus far & are ready to get down & dirty because today... Today we talk about SEX! *Bow Chiki Wow Wow* ;)

Haha, ok so... What about sex can I talk about that you don’t already know? It’s fun! It’s exhilarating! Makes you fitter (apparently because it’s such intense cardio... Wink wink Rick Ross. Don’t rap about it just do it bro) & it brings two people together forever (Be it man & woman, Man & Man, Woman & Man or even man & beast). It is just one of life’s greatest gifts that comes with sooooo many implications to it. But is there more to sex than just positions, orgasms & heartfelt sighs that the movies & magazines promise us?

The Effect of Sex on your Health

So I was reading my favourite magazine the other day (Mens Health) and I came across a very interesting piece where an ‘expert’ said: “Maintaining the health of your sex organs ensures your longevity and helps support a rich and fulfilling life. Above all, the most important thing you can do is follow our guidelines for decreasing arterial aging; a clear and well-flowing vascular system promotes blood flow to every part of your body. Maintaining good blood flow is one of the best ways to make sure erectile dysfunction isn’t inevitable as you age.

Of course, Viagra, a dozen roses and picking up your socks every once in a while aren’t the only things that may do wonders for your sex life. Just a few simple changes may be all that’s needed to keep your sex organs in tip-top driving condition. So pull them in for a pit stop. We’ll show you how to change your oil -- and help keep your libidinal engines revved.”

I actually agree with that. If you look at all the studies you’ll see that facts point to good health, a feel of being younger, and more energy due to a stress free lifestyle. But you’ve got to be safe. That can’t be stressed enough. By safe I mean STRAP UP! Don’t be going down on someone you just met. Don't be having affairs (A vengeful man knows no limits). If you’ve never lifted a weight in your life, don’t try something you saw on TV, the internet or heard from a friend. Keep it simple, feel each other & build that companionship with your partner. High quality sex only comes from a healthy relationship after all. (Ho’s this aint for you. I’ll get to y’all in a moment)

Orgasms

Male orgasms are easy to understand. I mean let’s be real... We get in, we see that ass shake & we go nuts. Simple as that. The reason they’re so easy to understand is because they’re external, you can see everything. We can’t fake an orgasm no matter how horrible the sex is. Female orgasms on the other hand are as complicated as University math. Only a few ever get them, and that’s because everything is internal. Essentially, when a woman is stimulated to the point of an orgasm, the uterine walls contract -- and she can experience rhythmic, muscular contractions of the uterus, vagina and clitoris.

Every woman is different. For some, an orgasm may feel like a geyser. For others, it may feel like nothing more than a momentary flutter. But here’s what many men have a hard time understanding: Because they can’t imagine having sex without an orgasm, many men can’t appreciate the fact that women can enjoy sex without having one. So instead of making it your goal to make her climax, focus more on touching her right. Listen to your woman’s body. If you didn’t manage to give her an orgasm, doesn’t mean you failed, but if you didn’t manage to arouse her then... Bro... Come on.

Emotional Effects

It's definitely different for everyone. It all depends on what sort of "values" you have and how you're raised and how you think about sex and what your attitude towards sex is and WHO you have sex with. Some girls have an idea that sex is supposed to be magical and romantic and special and they have a viewpoint that sex is bad or wrong unless everything is perfect. So when such girls end up having sex (maybe because some guy pressures them into it), they feel like they did a bad thing and like they ruined their chance to have a magical first time. In other cases, two people might be just friends and they end up having sex because they're horny, (even though they don't have any real feelings for each other beyond that) and it ends up making their friendship weird. And sometimes, even when people are in a relationship, having sex can change everything about it.

Most women will feel love, or something like it for a man they have sex with. Men can have sex without feeling anything but the physical, and there is nothing worse in the world that the feeling that you had sex with someone who was just using you for an hour, and doesn't give a damn about you. Some guys won't even talk to you after they have used you that way. It can be devastating.

Then there is the fear of pregnancy or STDs.

Generally, once a person starts having sex, they keep going. The physical effects are so very intense, but the emotional effects can put you on a roller coaster that you don't like

Effect of sex on the Psyche

 This is where sh*t gets real guys.  From here on I’m only addressing the intellects so if you’re not into real talk, this right here isn’t for you.  So I’m going to tell y’all a little about something that happened to me & I’m sure it’s happened to many men & women in the past as well.

 Y’all remember Medusa right? Crazy ex that just drove me nuts. Well truth be told, she wasn’t always so crazy. When Medusa & I met, like most couples, we were extremely attracted to each other. Not just physically but intellectually as well. But the problem was, we weren’t ready to commit. No matter how hot our passion was for each other, we did not want the responsibilities that came with hooking up. At first (Like most couples) everything was just kissing & foreplay, till one day we made a decision that would change us forever.

 I went to her house the one day & yeah we got it on, & while things were getting steamy, I looked at her & asked “Do you want to?” & she said “yeah but be gentle” (I had no idea that she was a virgin). So, yeah... Passion filled the air as our bodies entwined, beautiful sighs were echoed throughout the room... It was something out of a really mushy movie, what a moment. But it was exactly that... A moment.

After the moment passed, reality started to settle in. Instead of beautiful echoes, the room was being flooded by unanswered questions, regret & guilt. The beautiful gift that we just shared with each other became something of a martyr & just like that resent was slowly beginning to settle in. (We have all been there.)

See here’s the thing that I’m getting at. If you can’t build trust, companionship & commitment with someone, why are you fu*king them? I used to think that it was just sex, but really, it isn’t. We men claim to be different, that no it’s just sex “We’re just fu*king” but truth be told, whether we realize it or not; having sex with someone we don’t trust, can’t go on a date with, can’t commit to, messes up the good things that come forth in the future. Here are some words men have used to ward off a great thing, without (or with) realizing that they’re significantly messed up: “I’m just scared of how I feel about you” “I’m not ready for a commitment, but I really like you” “I miss your body so much, I miss your kisses & hugs”. Notice how in that last one, we do not mention a quality of the girl.

It’s more than just sex men. You can deny it all you want, you can even hate me for bringing this up & seeming like I’m just tryna get the girls to say “aww what a gentleman” bla bla bla, y’all know it to be true. There is no way that a man ever respects a woman who “gives it up” so easily. I mean yeah, do we like it when y’all want us to notice all your lady parts so we can do best with them, absolutely. But will we still respect you after we get it so easily? Honestly? Not a chance. Be real with the woman guys. It’s more than just sex!

TO MY LADIES!!!! No one likes a ho! Let me say that again; NO ONE LIKES A HO!!!! Yes, we’ll tap that ass, yes we’ll give it our best but we are never going to refer to you by your name. You’ll always be remembered as “What’s her name”. Good news for y’all is, all that can be rectified. I heard a mate say “You can’t turn a ho into a housewife” & I agree. She’s got to want to change. I spoke to this one girl who said “He fu*ked me good but didn’t call again”. Oh honey, there’s a reason for that: You were just too easy. I mean think about it like this. Ronaldo gets the ball from half way, runs past everyone in his way, gets fouled but carries on running, beats the last defender, keeper comes out, goes around the keeper & scores a magnificent goal. How’s he going react? He’s going celebrate like CRAZY! Why? Simple, because he worked for it. As oppose to scoring a tap in & just being arrogant about it.

If a man, ANY MAN, is not willing to put in the time & effort it takes, why are you fu*king him? JEEEEEZ! Have you no sense of value. The woman’s body is sacred. If you’re going around dressed like a ho AND ACTING LIKE ONE TOO, don’t expect to attract quality guys. Value yourself first before you bitch about men just want to sleep with you. Seriously! In the words of Lupe Fiasco: “Bitch bad, woman good, lady better. Y’all misunderstood”

If you want to escape being so emotionally closed off, or being the girl every guy knows they can get some from, then act like it. Carry yourself with pride (Not attitude, you don’t shit gold) & valour. A man must be willing to chase you, build a trusting relationship with you, care for you, & accept that commitment (Be it marriage or simply just dating) with you is part of the package that he seeks before you allow him to just unwrap your gift!

Ladies & gentlemen, sex is a powerful force. It can either bring two people together, or drive a wedge between them. Do it right, respect your partners. Do not trade a good thing for a moment of pleasure. All those fairytales we’ve been sold since day one of puberty are just that, fairytales. Be friends before anything else & I can assure you as the companionship & sexual attraction builds, the sex will be AMAZING! Truuuuust me!

Well that’s all for now. Wow I wrote quite a bit there hey

Hope y’all tune in to read all about another young entrepreneur who’s on the rise; Miss Barileng “Exhale” Ratsela this coming Sunday. It’s a little something for the ladies

Till then, take care of yourselves & each other

PEACE!!!